Ask a Professional Comedian: Jonah Ray
Tomorrow night, The Half Hour: Jonah Ray premieres at 12a/11c. But first Jonah will be taking your questions right here on our Tumblr at noon EST / 9am PST.
Submit your questions here, and make sure you mention they’re for Jonah.
Until then, watch Jonah talk about meeting Lars Ulrich in this clip from the special.
Ask me anything tomorrow on @ComedyCentral’s Tumblr as a way to promote my @CCstandup #TheHalfHour
That’s just how you do it.
Who thought looking at Jonah and Matt would ever be mesmerizing? Not me.
Were going to space!
Space! We’re going to Space! W/ @mattmira from the @nerdist show on @bbcamerica
(Source: mad-man-with-a-bowtie)
Moan
Wife: ”Is that him crying?” (referring to our son)
Me: “No.”
Moan
Wife: “That’s him crying!”
Wife jumps up and starts hustling toward back of apartment.
Me: “Not unless he’s getting his pussy eaten.”
Wife stops, turns and looks at me, then opens the window, and hears the neighbor’s moans. She listens for a moment.
Wife: ”Did you just say ‘not unless our son is getting his pussy eaten?’”
Me: “Yep”
Funny
I’m an old dude and a fan can’t wait for shame chamber! Cheers brother, Wain W.
— wayne w.
Dear sir, the album is coming very soon now. Here’s the deal. I have my album loaded up and waiting on Bandcamp. It is also going out of many other places for sale, except iTunes. This is because iTunes may feature it but they need to listen first (obviously). To do that, they need something called a UPC code. To get a UPC code, I had to set a release date for other sites. I am still waiting for the UPC code but the album is moving forward to distributors as I type. Hopefully it will all be timed correctly but iTunes could also be left behind.
So, to make a short story unnecessarily complicated, it looks like it will be dropping on June the 8th, I’m also a fan of ham.
I walk across the football field at the local high school. Music I have never heard is coming from the bleachers. I look up at three dudes sitting in the bleachers beside a boom box
Me - “What band is that?”
Dude - “The Doors”
Pause.
Dude - “Wanna get high?”
Me - “Sure”
And so began my journey to being a stoner.
RIP Ray Manzarek
I cannot recommend Full Sail University for writing because writing on a table in the middle of a road is dangerous.
I just spent the past 30 minutes doing this on Twitter with someone I’ve never met. I had a great time.
(via jonahray)
When this comes out, I will run naked and screaming into a movie theater with an erection.
